don's report archive

Wellness in the Headlines
(Don's Report to the World)

Overweight Author Gets Philosophical, Makes A Lot Of Money and Discovers the "I Can't Do It" Mindset
Monday May 8, 2006

"For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!"
~Jay Leno

Normally, it's hard to like a fat cat lobbyist, unless of course you're a member of Congress. In that case, you might welcome the lobbyist's generous campaign contributions, offers of lavish trips to exotic locations and many expensive gifts.

A recent Washington Post article ("'Living Large,' Berman Comes To Terms With Size And Self" Mar. 19, 2006) described how one large lobbyist, age 66, coped with his weight problem during a six-decade career on "The Hill." The lobbyist, all 5 feet 9 inches of him, weighed as much as 332 pounds, thanks to self-described prodigious feats of overeating and under-exercising -- a real American.

What makes this fellow of special interest from a wellness perspective is that he discovered and benefited from an "I can't do it" mindset. It seems he came upon "icantdoit" insights without any help from yours truly, Grant Donovan or other promoters of this philosophy for dealing with reality. Because of his advocacy of "icantdoit" principles for obesity management, I find him likeable, despite his profession. Based on the Post story cited above, here are highlights of this man's "icantdoit" insights. After this summary, I'll tell you what my colleague had to say about the good lobbyist whom I'll call "Berman."

Insight # 1. Berman does not deny reality, whine or make excuses. He acknowledges that there are dangers and hazards galore in being obese, that it's best to exercise and eat wisely and that two-thirds of the population is unable to manage weight. Obesity is seen by Berman as a threat to children and the economy, as well as for it's obvious personal hazards. However, he would probably agree with Marlon Brando, who said: "I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money."

Insight # 2. Berman wants something done about the national weight problem, such as public education campaigns similar to tobacco and seat belt initiatives. However, such messages, he feels, should make the point that the chronically overweight should get comfortable with being different, that is fat (though in America, being fat is NOT being different).

Insight # 3. Berman knows it's not going to happen, that "icantdoit" dynamics will keep fat people from becoming fit and trim. Try as they might, for nearly all it ain't gonna happen. He tried, it didn't happen -- and the same can be said for others in similar circumstances.

Insight # 4. Make the best of the situation. Berman did. He wrote a self-help book (Living Large: A Big Man's Ideas on Weight, Success and Acceptance written with Laurence Shames) and became richer and more famous for doing so. In Living Large, he urges the obese to set modest goals they can realize. Also, that folks recognize the reality that fat is how it's going to be -- get used to it, make the best of things and get on with "living large." Berman says, "The idea that you can slim down by willpower is a bunch of horse manure." Just so.

As you might expect, it took a very long time with many false starts, broken resolutions, wasted time and money (including time spent on expensive programs like the Pritiken Longevity Center), "thousands of indignities" and great frustration to gain all this insight and acceptance.

Insight # 5. Berman concluded that while many factors (such as varied metabolisms, the way his Mother rewarded him with food as a child) play a role, the big one for most, himself included, is that "fat people take in more calories than they burn." Fat people are often compulsive eaters, almost like addicts, though of course EVERYONE could be said to be addicted to eating. It's not optional.

I shared the Washington Post story with my "icantdoit" co-conspirator, Grant Donovan of Western Australia. His first reaction was, "What is the world coming to when a fat guy confesses to icantdoit, idontneedtodoit and idontwanttodoit?" Typical Donovan! Here's more of Dr. Donovan's response:

Berman might be a good poster boy for "icantdoit." His "blame my mother rationale" for his food addiction, combined with "will power doesn't work" excuses are the sort of logic we should be promoting. He fits the criteria for "icantdoit" in several ways:

Predisposition (genetic)

Mother who cooked too much whom he tried to please by eating too much (supporting environment)

No will power (attitude/mental strength)

Best of all, he worked out the "icantdoit" solution which is "give-up, enjoy yourself and die anytime because anytime is a good time."

That would be Dr. Donovan's tough love, "icantdoit" advice not just for Berman but for anyone with a significant weight problem or other lifestyle deficiencies, or not. In Donovan's cheery way of thinking, which I find appealing but difficult to apply personally, none of it matters, anyway, since it's all quite meaningless.

On that note, smile and give a whistle, look on the bright side of life and be well.

(Note: This essay will be filed in the archives in the PHYSICAL DOMAIN under the skill area of appearance and aging. Additional articles related to this theme may be found there.)

(Ed. Note: Views expressed in this and other columns are those of the author and not necessarily those of the SeekWellness Editorial Board.)

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